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Confucianism -> Liji -> Qu Li I -> 65

Intercourse with the living (will be continued) in the future;
intercourse with the dead (friend) was a thing of the past.
He who knows the living should send (a message of) condolence;
and he who knew the dead (a message also of his) grief.
He who knows the living, and did not know the dead,
will send his condolence without (that expression of) his grief;
he who knew the dead, and does not know the living,
will send the (expression of) grief, but not go on to condole.


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