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Confucianism -> Liji -> Nei Ze -> 23

退No daughter-in-law, without being told to go to her own apartment, should venture to withdraw from that (of her parents-in-law).
Whatever she is about to do, she should ask leave from them.
A son and his wife should have no private goods, nor animals, nor vessels; they should not presume to borrow from, or give anything to, another person. If any one give the wife an article of food or dress, a piece of cloth or silk, a handkerchief for her girdle, an iris or orchid, she should receive and offer it to her parents-in-law.
If they accept it, she will be glad as if she were receiving it afresh.
If they return it to her, she should decline it, and if they do not allow her to do so, she will take it as if it were a second gift, and lay it by to wait till they may want it. If she want to give it to some of her own cousins, she must ask leave to do so, and that being granted, she will give it.


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