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中國哲學書電子化計劃
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宋明 -> 三國演義 -> 禰正平裸衣罵賊，吉太醫下毒遭刑 -> 8

帝覽表，以付曹操。操遂使人召衡至。禮畢，操不命坐。禰衡仰天歎曰：「天地雖闊，何無一人也！」操曰：「吾手下有數十人，皆當世英雄，何謂無人？」衡曰：「願聞。」操曰：「荀彧，荀攸，郭嘉，程昱，機深智遠，雖蕭何，陳平不及也。張遼，許褚，樂進，李典，勇不可當，雖岑彭，馬武不及也。呂虔，滿寵，為從事；于禁，徐晃，為先鋒。夏侯惇，天下奇才；曹子孝，世間福將。安得無人？」衡笑曰：「公言差矣。此等人物，吾盡識之：荀彧可使弔喪問疾，荀攸可使看墳守墓，程昱可使關門閉戶，郭嘉可使白詞念賦，張遼可使擊鼓鳴金，許褚可使牧牛放馬，樂進可使取狀讀詔，李典可使傳書送檄，呂虔可使磨刀鑄劍，滿寵可使飲酒食糟，于禁可使負版築牆，徐晃可使屠豬殺狗。夏侯惇稱為『完體將軍』，曹子孝呼為『要錢太守』。其餘皆是衣架！飯囊！酒桶！肉袋耳！」操怒曰：「汝有何能？」衡曰：「天文地理，無一不通；三教九流，無一不曉；上可以致君為堯、舜，下可以配德於孔、顏。豈與俗子共論乎！」時止有張遼在側，掣劍欲斬之。操曰：「吾正少一鼓吏；早晚朝賀宴享，可令禰衡充此職。」衡不推辭，應聲而去。遼曰：「此人出言不遜，何不殺之？」操曰：「此人素有虛名，遠近所聞。今日殺之，天下必謂我不能容物，彼自以為能，故令為鼓吏以辱之。」The Emperor read the memorial and passed it to his Prime Minister, who duly summoned Mi Heng. He came, but after his formal salutations were over, he was left standing and not invited to sit down. Looking up to heaven, Mi Heng sighed deeply, saying, "Wide as is the universe, it cannot produce the person." "Under my orders are scores of people whom the world call heroes. What do you mean by saying there is not the person," said Cao Cao. "I should be glad to hear who they are," said Mi Heng. "Xun Yu, Xun You, Guo Jia, and Cheng Yu are all people of profound skill and long views, superior to Xiao He and Chen Ping. Zhang Liao, Xu Chu, Li Dian, and Yue Jing are bravest of the brave, better than Cen Peng and Ma Wu. Lu Qian and Man Chong are my secretaries; Yu Jin and Xu Huang are my van leaders; Xiahou Dun is one of the world's marvels, Cao Ren is the most successful leader of the age. Now say you there are not the people?" "Sir, you are quite mistaken," said Mi Heng with a smile. "I know all these things you call people. Xun Yu is qualified to pose at a funeral or ask after a sick man; Xun You is fit to be a tomb guardian; Cheng Yu might be sent to shut doors and bolt windows; and Guo Jia is a reciter of poems; Zhang Liao might beat drums and clang gongs; Xu Chu might lead cattle to pasture; Yue Jing would make a fair reader of elegy; Li Dian could carry dispatches and notices; Lu Qian would be a fair armorer; Man Chong could be sent to drink wine and eat brewers' grains; Yu Jin might be of use to carry planks and build walls; Xu Huang might be employed to kill pigs and slay dogs; Xiahou Dun should be styled 'Whole Body General,' and Cao Ren should be called 'Money-grubbing Governor.' As for the remainder, they are mere clothes shelves, rice sacks, wine vases, flesh bags." "And what special gifts have you?" said Cao Cao angrily. "I know everything in heaven above and the earth beneath. I am conversant with the Three Religions and the Nine Systems of Philosophy. I could make my prince the rival of Kings Yao and Shun, and I myself could compare in virtue with Confucius and Mencius. Can I discuss on even terms with common people?" Now Zhang Liao was present, and he raised his sword to strike down the impudent visitor who spoke thus to his master, but Cao Cao said, "I want another drummer boy to play on occasions of congratulation in the court. I will confer this office upon him." Instead of indignantly declining this, Mi Heng accepted the position and went out. "He spoke very impertinently," said Zhang Liao. "Why did you not put him to death?" "He has something of a reputation; empty, but people have heard of him and so, if I put him to death, they would say I was intolerant. As he thinks he has ability, I have made him a drummer to mortify him."

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