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Confucius said, 'The son-in-law will send some one to condole; and if it be his father or mother that has died, the family of the lady will in the same way send some to present their condolences. If the father have died, (the messenger) will name the (other) father (as having sent him); if the mother, he will name the (other) mother. If both parents be dead (on both sides), he will name the oldest uncle and his wife. When the son-in-law has buried (his dead), his oldest uncle will offer a release from the engagement to the lady, saying, "My son, being occupied with the mourning for his father or mother, and not having obtained the right to be reckoned among your brethren, has employed me to offer a release from the engagement." (In this case) it is the rule for the lady to agree to the message and not presume to (insist on) the marriage (taking place immediately). When the son-in-law has concluded his mourning, the parents of the lady will send and request (the fulfilment of the engagement). The son-in-law will not (immediately come to) carry her (to his house), but afterwards she will be married to him; this is the rule. If it be the father or mother of the lady who died, the son-in-law will follow a similar course.' |
