| | 大婚: |
孔子侍坐于哀公。公问曰：敢问人道谁为大。孔子对曰：夫人道政为大，夫政者，正也。君为正，则百姓从而正矣。君之所为，百姓之所从也。君之不为，百姓何从。公曰：敢问为政如之何。孔子对曰：夫妇别，父子亲，君臣信，三者正，则庶物从之矣。内以治宗庙之礼，足以配天地之神也。出以治直言之礼，足以立上下之敬也。物耻则足以振之，国耻则足以兴之，故为政先乎礼，礼其政之本与。孔子遂言曰：昔三代明王之必敬妻子也。盖有道焉。妻也者，亲之主也。子也者，亲之后也。敢不敬与，是故君子无不敬也。敬也者，敬身为大，身也者，亲之支也。敢不敬与，不敬其身，是伤其亲，伤其亲，是伤其本也。伤其本，则支从而亡，三者，百姓之象也。身以及身，子以及子，妃以及妃，君修此三者，则大化忾于天下。 |
| | Confucius was sitting in attendance before Duke Ai. The duke asked, "I dare to ask, among human relationships, which is the greatest?" Confucius replied, "Among human relationships, governance is the greatest. Governance means uprightness." If a ruler is upright, then the people will follow and be upright as well. What a ruler does is what the people follow. If a ruler does not act, how can the people know where to follow? Duke Ai said, "I dare to ask, how should one govern?" Confucius replied, "Distinguish between husband and wife, be affectionate with father and son, maintain trust between ruler and minister. If these three relationships are properly ordered, then all other matters will follow accordingly." Within the court, by observing the rites of the ancestral temple, one is sufficient to be worthy of the spirits of heaven and earth. Externally, by practicing the rites of straightforward remonstration, one is sufficient to establish mutual respect between superiors and subordinates. When people feel shame, it is sufficient to inspire them; When a state feels shame, it is sufficient for its revival; Therefore, in governing, ritual comes first; isn't ritual the foundation of governance? Confucius then said, "In ancient times, the illustrious kings of the Three Dynasties necessarily respected their wives and concubines." For there was a principle behind it. A wife is the one who presides over kinship relations. A son is the continuation of the family line. How could one dare not be respectful? Therefore, a gentleman has no occasion but to show respect. Respect means above all respecting oneself; the self is the branch of one's ancestors. How could one dare not to be respectful? Not respecting oneself harms one's relatives; harming one's relatives is harming the root. Harming the root causes the branches to perish as well. These three relationships are the model for the people. By extending care to oneself, to one's children, and to one's wife, a ruler who cultivates these three aspects will achieve great moral transformation throughout the world.
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| | 大婚: |
公曰：敢问何谓敬身。孔子对曰：君子过言则民作辞，过动则民作则，言不过辞，动不过则，百姓恭敬以从命，若是，则可谓能敬其身，能敬其身，则能成其亲矣。 |
| | Duke Ai said, "I dare to ask, what is meant by respecting oneself?" Confucius replied, "When a gentleman speaks improperly, the people imitate his words; when he acts improperly, the people take it as an example. If one's speech does not exceed proper expressions and one's actions do not go beyond established norms, then the common people will show reverence and obey commands. If this is done, one may be said to respect oneself. To respect oneself means one can fulfill one's filial duty toward one's parents."
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| | 大婚: |
公曰：何谓成亲。孔子对曰：君子者，乃人之成名也。百姓与名，谓之君子，则是成其亲为君而为其子也。孔子遂言曰：为政而不能爱人，则不能成其身，不能成其身，则不能安其土，不能安其土，则不能乐天，不能乐天，则不能成身。 |
| | Duke Ai asked, "What does it mean to fulfill one's filial duty?" Confucius replied, "A gentleman is the name by which a person becomes renowned." When the people bestow the title of 'gentleman' upon someone, it means that he has fulfilled his filial duty by becoming a ruler for his parents and a father to his children. Confucius then said, "To govern and yet be unable to love others is to fail in cultivating oneself. To fail in cultivating oneself is to be unable to secure one's land. To be unable to secure one's land is to be unable to find joy in heaven; To be unable to find joy in Heaven means also to fail in cultivating oneself."
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| | 大婚: |
公曰：敢问何谓成身。孔子对曰：夫其行己不过于物，谓之成身，不过于物，合天道也。 |
| | Duke Ai said, "I dare to ask, what does it mean to cultivate oneself?" Confucius replied, "When one's conduct in life does not overstep the proper bounds of things, this is called cultivating oneself. Not overstepping these bounds means being in harmony with the Way of Heaven."
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