| | 后娶: |
吉甫,贤父也,伯奇,孝子也,以贤父御孝子,合得终于天性,而后妻闲之,伯奇遂放。曾参妇死,谓其子曰:“吾不及吉甫,汝不及伯奇。”王骏丧妻,亦谓人曰:“我不及曾参,子不如华、元。”并终身不娶,此等足以为诫。其后,假继惨虐孤遗,离闲骨肉,伤心断肠者,何可胜数。慎之哉!慎之哉! |
| | Jifu was a virtuous father, and Boqi was a filial son. When a virtuous father governs a filial son, they should naturally reach an end in accordance with their innate nature; however, the later wife interfered, and thus Boqi was exiled. When Zeng Can's wife died, he said to his son: "I am not as virtuous as Jifu, and you are not as filial as Boqi." Wang Jun, after the death of his wife, also told others: "I am not as virtuous as Zeng Can, and my son is not as good as Hua Yuan." They both remained unmarried for the rest of their lives; such examples are sufficient to serve as warnings. After that, stepmothers who cruelly mistreated orphans and widows, estranged family members, and caused heartbreaking sorrow were countless. One must be cautious about this! One must be cautious indeed!
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| | 后娶: |
江左不讳庶孽,丧室之后,多以妾媵终家事;疥癣蚊虻,或未能免,限以大分,故稀斗阋之耻。河北鄙于侧出,不预人流,是以必须重娶,至于三四,母年有少于子者。后母之弟,与前妇之兄,衣服饮食,爰及婚宦,至于士庶贵贱之隔,俗以为常。身没之后,辞讼盈公门,谤辱彰道路,子诬母为妾,弟黜兄为佣,播扬先人之辞迹,暴露祖考之长短,以求直己者,往往而有。悲夫!自古奸臣佞妾,以一言陷人者众矣!况夫妇之义,晓夕移之,婢仆求容,助相说引,积年累月,安有孝子乎?此不可不畏。 |
| | In the Jiangzuo region, they did not avoid mentioning concubines and illegitimate children. After a wife's death, it was common to entrust household affairs to concubines or attendants. Though they could not always avoid minor troubles like scabies, eczema, mosquitoes, and horseflies, the boundaries of major distinctions were maintained; thus, such households rarely suffered the disgrace of quarrels. In Hebei, illegitimate children were looked down upon and not considered part of the main lineage; therefore, it was necessary to remarry repeatedly, sometimes even three or four times, with some stepmothers being younger than their sons. The younger brothers of a stepmother and the older brothers of a former wife, in terms of clothing, food, marriage, official careers, and even the distinctions between scholars, commoners, nobles, and inferiors—such differences were regarded as normal by society. After their deaths, lawsuits filled the public offices, and slander and disgrace were evident on the roads. Sons falsely accused mothers of being concubines, younger brothers degraded older brothers to servants, spread the words and deeds of ancestors, exposed the strengths and weaknesses of one's forebears, all in an attempt to justify themselves—such cases were not uncommon. How sad! Since ancient times, there have been many treacherous ministers and sycophantic concubines who have ruined people with a single word! How much more so in the case of marital relationships, where affection shifts from morning to night. Servants and attendants seeking favor assist in persuasion and manipulation; over years and months, how could there possibly be a filial son? This is something that cannot be taken lightly.
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| | 后娶: |
凡庸之性,后夫多宠前夫之孤,后妻必虐前妻之子;非唯妇人怀嫉妒之情,丈夫有沈惑之僻,亦事势使之然也。前夫之孤,不敢与我子争家,提携鞠养,积习生爱,故宠之;前妻之子,每居己生之上,宦学婚嫁,莫不为防焉,故虐之。异姓宠则父母被怨,继亲虐则兄弟为雠,家有此者,皆门户之祸也。 |
| | The nature of ordinary people tends to have a stepfather often dote on the children from his first marriage, while a stepmother is sure to mistreat her stepson from her husband's previous wife; This is not only because women harbor feelings of jealousy, nor solely because men have a tendency toward infatuation and confusion; it is also due to the circumstances that lead them this way. The child from a previous marriage cannot compete with my own son for the household, so by raising and nurturing them over time, affection naturally develops—thus they are favored; The son from a previous wife often ranks above one's own biological children, and in matters of official careers, education, marriage, and so on, there is always the need to guard against this—thus they are mistreated. If a stepchild of another surname is favored, the biological parents are resented; if a stepmother mistreats her stepchildren, siblings become enemies. A family with such problems brings disaster to its lineage.
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| | 后娶: |
思鲁等从舅殷外臣,博达之士也。有子基、谌,皆已成立,而再娶王氏。基每拜见后母,感慕呜咽,不能自持,家人莫忍仰视。王亦凄怆,不知所容,旬月求退,便以礼遣,此亦悔事也。 |
| | Sī Lǔ et al., their maternal uncle Yin Waichen, was a learned and erudite scholar. He had sons Ji and Chen, both of whom were already grown and established in life, yet he remarried to a woman surnamed Wang. Whenever Ji paid respects to his stepmother, he would feel deep emotion and weep uncontrollably, unable to compose himself; no one in the family could bear to look up at him. Wang was also moved with sorrow and did not know how to behave; after a few weeks, she requested to leave, and the family sent her away in accordance with propriety. This too was an instance of regret.
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| | 后娶: |
后汉书曰:“安帝时,汝南薛包孟尝,好学笃行,丧母,以至孝闻。及父娶后妻而憎包,分出之。包日夜号泣,不能去,至被殴杖。不得已,庐于舍外,旦入而洒埽。父怒,又逐之,乃庐于里门,昏晨不废。积岁馀,父母惭而还之。后行六年服,丧过乎哀。既而弟子求分财异居,包不能止,乃中分其财:奴婢引其老者,曰:‘与我共事久,若不能使也。’田庐取其荒顿者,曰:‘吾少时所理,意所恋也。’器物取其朽败者,曰:‘我素所服食,身口所安也。’弟子数破其产,还复赈给。建光中,公车特徵,至拜侍中。包性恬虚,称疾不起,以死自乞。有诏赐告归也。 |
| | The Book of the Later Han states: "During the reign of Emperor An, Xue Bao Mengchang from Ru'nan was devoted to learning and upright in conduct. After his mother's death, he became renowned for his utmost filial piety." When his father remarried and came to hate Xue Bao, he sent him away from the household. Xue Bao wept day and night, unable to leave; eventually, he was beaten with a stick. Having no choice, he built a hut outside the house and swept it clean every morning. His father became angry again and drove him out once more; thus, he built a hut at the village gate, never ceasing his duties in the morning or evening. After several years, his parents felt ashamed and allowed him to return home. Later, he observed a mourning period of six years, grieving more than was customary. Later, when his disciples requested to divide the property and live separately, Xue Bao could not stop them. He then divided the assets equally: as for the male and female servants, he took only those who were old, saying, "I have worked with these people for a long time; I cannot make use of them anymore." As for the fields and houses, he took only those that were barren or in disrepair, saying: "These are the ones I cultivated when I was young; they hold a special place in my heart." As for household goods, he took only the broken and worn ones, saying: "These are what I have always used and eaten; they provide comfort to my body and mouth." On several occasions, his disciples squandered his property, yet Xue Bao would still support them financially. During the Jianguang period, he was specially summoned by imperial decree and later appointed as a Shizhong (Attendant-in-Ordinary). Xue Bao had a quiet and unassuming nature; he claimed illness and refused to accept the appointment, even offering his life in self-sacrifice. An imperial decree was issued granting him leave to return home.
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